Photo credit: graceelizabethcollins.blogspot.com

The people you encounter, especially those who are close to you, want to be “known” by you. To begin to do this, it means you need to learn how to become present in the moments you have with them. Get out of your own mind and stop the constant chatter of your thoughts so that you can tune in to them.

Physically that means turning toward them to mirror their gestures. Listening to the tone and pace of their words and replying with the same. Gazing into their eyes while you are looking at them, not distracted by the environment around them. Are they someone who values physical touch? If yes, placing a hand on their arm or shoulder will show you are in tune with them and can gaze at the world through their perspective. Be an active listener and repeat back what you hear them say. Ask good follow-up questions that are open-ended and then sit in silence while they contemplate the answer to your thoughtful question. When you are holding the space for this special someone, the airwaves do not need to be filled with idle chatter.

Don’t waste the precious time you have with someone complaining or filling the space with negativity. Instead choose to see the beauty in this individual and time you get to spend with them. If you are stuck in your own mind running around after your own thoughts you can not hold the space to truly know them in that moment. Let your heart be the radio as you dial in their station, tune into what they are saying, how they are feeling and learn to truly know them.